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Using the Enneagram to Help Release Frustration & Build Patience

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by Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhDThe Enneagram in Business Mini-Book©2023 The Enneagram in BusinessFrustrationpATIENCEANDUSING THE ENNEAGRAM TOHELP RELEASE FRUSTRATIONAND BUILD PATIENCE

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You throw the sand against the wind;and the wind blows it back again.~ William Blake Frustration is defined as the feeling of being upsetor annoyed, especially because of the inability tochange or achieve something. Everyoneexperiences frustration, but how easily do youmove through it? How does it impact your life andyour relationship with others? The Enneagram canhelp each of us, based on our enneatype, deal farbetter with frustration.Frustration

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PATIENCEPatience is a form of wisdom. Itdemonstrates that we understandand accept the fact that sometimesthings must unfold in their own time. ~ Jon Kabbat-Zinn Patience is defined as the capacity to accept ortolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without gettingangry or upset. Do you have sufficient patience?Do you have too much patience? Here’s how theEnneagram can enrich our understanding ofpatience and how to engage patience on our pathto wisdom.

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Ones get easily frustrated when quality slips, peopleare not on time, standards are not being adhered to,mistakes are made, and more. All of this isunderstandable, yet does frustration really help thesituation? Try this: Breathe deeply so you become calm, laugh atthe situation so you become playful, and be thankfulthat these human frustrations are simply part of dailylife and you are part of it.FrustrationType Ones

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Ones are not known for their patience, either withthemselves or with others. Task-focused and driven toperfection, how can they be patient when tasks areslow and standards are not being met? Pretty suretheir own opinions are correct and that many othershold views that are either not correct or even sub-par,how can Ones be more patient?Try this: Slow down, put less on your “to-do lists" – long“to-do” lists in a 24-hour day aggravate impatience –and start the whole process by being more patient andloving with yourself!Type OnesPATIENCE

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Twos get really frustrated when people get themselvesin difficulty especially after the two has offered verywise and practical advice. Twos also get frustratedwhen other people “shoot themselves in the foot” – inother words, make decisions with obvious negativeconsequences and, thus, self-sabotage. And Twos getfrustrated when they speak up, yet do not get takenseriously. Try this: Let others make what you consider to be“stupid” mistakes and allow them to bear theconsequences. In addition, when you want to beheard, find your personal power deep inside your gutas well as your heart and speak from there!FrustrationType Twos

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Twos are very patient about some things – maybe toopatient if there is too much patience – and not verypatient about other things. People-focused and drivento provide for others, Twos can be patient to a fault,not acknowledging the shortcomings of others whendoing so would allow Twos to both live in a moreaccurate reality and be more honest with others. Twoscan also be highly impatient when they’ve listened toomany times to another person and want to disengage.Try this: Remember that being patient does not makeyou a good person and being impatient does notrender you bad in some way. Patience is somethingthat you need to do for yourself, not for others, butmake it a patience based in reality.Type twosPATIENCE

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Threes get especially frustrated when obstacles occurin their pathway, when others don’t do what they saidthey would do – this applies personally as well asprofessionally - and when they are trying to expresswhat they feel and want, yet the words don’t comeeasily. Try this: Get into your body through breathing,exercise, or whatever works for you, and ask your heartand your gut what you feel and what you want. Thensit back and “go with the flow” rather than try tocontrol or change the movement of things and events.FrustrationType threes

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Threes are among the least patient of the nineEnneagram types. If someone takes up too much time,the Three’s impatience sets in. If the Three doesn’tunderstand something well enough, impatience showsup. If there is work to do, impatience appears. When aconversation becomes too emotional, impatience! Butmost of all, Threes are impatient with themselves.Try this: Recognize that impatience directed towardothers harms relationships, but that impatiencetowards yourself erodes your inner sense of self-acceptance. Start inside and move outward.Type threesPATIENCE

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Fours get frustrated over many things and thenbecome frustrated over their frustration. This doublefrustration, of course, makes them more frustrated.Many things frustrate Fours: people not understanding,superficiality, not manifesting exactly as they want,and more. Try this: Find your sense of balance in your body,through exercising, centering, meditation, or whateverworks best for you. Suddenly, you’ll find a differentrelationship to your frustration.FrustrationType fours

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Fours, sadly, are most impatient with themselves.Sometimes they become impatient when anotherperson doesn’t understand what has been said or thedifferent nuanced levels of human dynamics. But forthe most part, Fours are impatient with their feelings,with the emotional vexing in their minds and hearts,and more.Try this: Be patient with yourself, using deep andrhythmic breathing as your support and guide. Allowyourself to think clearly, feel calm, and experience yourbody fully.Type foursPATIENCE

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Although they may not show it, Fives get frustrated byother people and by their own behavior. There is somuch that’s frustrating, and not feeling comfortableexpressing it outwardly is also frustrating. Try this: Create a mantra for yourself that feels andsounds good. For example, when you get frustrated,say this: "The world, including me, is full of so muchnonsense. Let me scream once, get it out, and be donewith it!" Or, you could try this: "I am enough; there isenough."FrustrationType fives

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It’s hard to describe whether Fives are patient orimpatient because they can be both. Impatient withintrusions and small talk, impatient with fake joviality – as they might perceive it – and impatient with ideasfrom others that make no sense. Fives, however, arepatient with work projects, problems that need solvingand more.Try this: When you feel impatient, laugh. If laughingdoesn’t work, try breathing inward and exhaling slowly.If neither of the above is effective, go for a walk, getyourself some tea, or do anything you might enjoy.Type fivesPATIENCE

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Sixes easily fall into a world of frustration. Overthinkingeverything, as they do so often, breeds mentalfrustration. When things go awry, frustration. And Sixesalso get frustrated with themselves for over-ruminating, over-planning and over-worrying. Try this: Take a walk, breathe, and really let the oxygenin without, of course, hyperventilating. This is a greatway to simply stop or slow the mental machinations.FrustrationType SIXES

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Sixes can be overly patient just as they can beextremely impatient. When overly patient, the reason isoften their loyalty to a person, a situation, or a cause.When impatient, the reason can be either that theythink so quickly – a result of their facile problem-solving – they already know a solution to an issue, orthat they are anxious and feel a need to get to theanswer, even if premature.Try this: Remember that when you are over or under-patient, it is an opportunity to examine your keen needfor certainty. Open yourself to the situation andaccess your heart and body as well as your mind.PATIENCEType SIXES

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Sevens have low frustration tolerance, which is aproblem because they get frustrated easily – forexample, something or someone that takes too long, intheir estimation. The word “no” also frustrates them.Sitting still frustrates them. Not getting what they wantquickly also frustrates them. Try this: Sit down, be still, and breathe. Practice thisover and over many times a day. It’s not the same astaking three deep breaths so you don’t explode; it’sactually intended to help you get more centered andmore receptive.FrustrationType SevenS

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Sevens, along with Threes, are the most impatient ofthe Enneagram types, but the reason behind theimpatience is different. Sevens think even faster thanSixes and they become impatient because, althoughthey may not say this, the rest of us seem slow to them.Always in constant motion, mentally and physically,Sevens want everything to move quickly. And when thisdoesn’t occur, their impatience is palpable.Try this: Remember that we are not slow, you aresuper-fast. And fast doesn’t necessarily mean better. Itmight mean better, but it can also mean that you havenot considered all the crucial factors. In addition, ifyou really want people to listen to you and to engagewith your ideas, you need to also offer this to others.PATIENCEType SevenS

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Eights, of course, do get frustrated. For example, theyget frustrated when people don’t do what they aresupposed to or don’t take responsibility for their ownbehavior. But Eights tend to get angry more thanfrustrated, and when they get angry, Eights takeaction, usually big action. Frustration, a milder form ofanger, typically occurs only when Eights try repeatedlyto get something to happen and it does not. Try this: Say what you want directly and respectively,and problem-solve the situation with the other personor persons. Think of this as enlisting capable othersrather than commanding them.FrustrationType eights

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Eights can be highly impatient with some people andsome situations, yet be highly patient under othercircumstances where most other people would befrustrated. Their level of patience depends on anumber of factors (the higher the factor, the less thepatience): stress, fatigue, anxiety, anger, sadness, lackof self-care, just as examples.Try this: Remember the above factors that contributeto your impatience and try to minimize them.PATIENCEType eights

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Nines get frustrated, yet it takes them a long time toeven be aware of it. Given this lag time, the frustrationactually builds inside until they either somatize it – thatis, become physically ill in some way due to the stressof holding in their reactions – or they eventuallyexplode outwardly. There are, however, other optionsavailable. Try this: When you don’t like something, you’ll feel it –even if it is slight – somewhere in your body. Notice thisand ask yourself: What is this? Allow the answer toappear, then express it.FrustrationType nines

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Nines can be patient to a fault, but then withdraw,become angry, or become passive-aggressivelyimpatient after a long build-up. In the Nine worldview,patience, acceptance, tolerance, not creating tension,and listening are positive values. As a result, however,Nines can be laboriously patient when they might bebetter served to offer a different way of doing things,or to say "No" and mean it, or to tell another that he orshe (the Nine) doesn’t have any more time to spend ona subject.Try this: Remember that you matter just as much asanyone else. This means your time, energy, thoughts,and more. Remember that you must matter to yourselfbefore you will ever believe you matter to others.PATIENCEType nines

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ABOUT THE ENNEAGRAM IN BUSINESSEstablished in 2004 by Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, The Enneagram inBusiness offers excellent quality, state-of the-art products and services.Our vision is to help elevate consciousness globally using theEnneagram integrated with other innovative approaches; our mission isto provide an abundance of Enneagram-based resources for use aroundthe world. These include the following:» Nine Enneagram books, including several best sellers» Full-color Enneagram training tools, both in hard copy and virtual formats» Global Enneagram certification programs for consultants, trainers, andcoaches» Premier leadership development and team development offerings» Training, coaching and consulting services, both virtual and in-person» A comprehensive, interactive online Enneagram Learning Portal (ELP)» A global network of over 70 top-quality Enneagram professionals(EIBN)ENNEAGRAM BOOKS by Ginger-Lapid-BogdaBringing Out the Best in Yourself at WorkWhat Type of Leader Are You?Bringing Out the Best in Everyone You CoachThe Enneagram Development GuideConsulting with the EnneagramThe Enneagram Coloring BookThe Art of TypingThe Art of the Enneagram (co-authored with Russell Tres Bogda)Transform Your Team with the | | | 510.570.2971