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The Keys to Connection

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The Enneagram in Business Mini-Book©2023 The Enneagram in BusinessEnneagram Types The Keys toConnectionby Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD

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You have to make spacein your heart, in yourmind, and in your life forauthentic humanconnection.~ Marianne Williamson

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Without human connectivity, we feelisolated, estranged and long forsomething more. Do we realize thatthere is a key factor in eachEnneagram type-structure thatdistances people of that type fromthe connectivity they most desire?

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Enneagram OneKey factor: ControlOnes like and need to feel in control ofthemselves – as in self-controlled – and in thesituations of their lives. In close connections,however, more spontaneity is required and otherpeople don’t like the feeling of being controlledby someone else. Key to connection: Relax the need to control yourenvironment and the people within it. Celebratespontaneity and let others lead, even if it feels alittle chaotic or unplanned.This gives Ones something to work on.

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Enneagram TwoKey factor: False independenceTwos like to perceive themselves as independentpeople, but this is, in fact, a false perception ofreality. Twos are among the most dependent ofthe Enneagram types; Twos, unless they engagein deep development work, depend on positivereactions of others for their self-esteem.Key to connection: Relax the pattern of seekingoutside affirmation and allow the relationship tonaturally build and grow. Trust that you don’thave to “earn” closeness.This gives Twos something to work on.

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Enneagram ThreeKey factor: UtilitarianismThrees are always moving forward, with eyes onthe goal and a desire to stay on their path.Because of this, their relationships with otherscan become more utilitarian than authentic – inother words, a means to an end. Other peoplesense this and desire more realness andauthenticity in the human connection. Key to connection: Relax any assessment of howa relationship might benefit you or your goals.Acknowledge and celebrate the admirablequalities of others that are entirely separatefrom what you think might link to “success.”This gives Threes something to work on.

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Enneagram fourKey factor: ExpectationFours, almost more than any other Enneagramtype, seeks human connectivity. However, highand often unrealistic expectations, get in theirway. Fours want and even demand deep andconstant connectivity; otherwise, they get terriblybored or deeply disappointed. Key to connection: Relax the craving for intensityas a proof of connection. Know there are, in fact,a vast variety in the forms of connectivity. Findthem!This gives Fours something to work on.

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Enneagram fiveKey factor: Moats with few bridgesFives, in many ways, long for human connectivity,but doing so would require them to build morebridges across the moats they have created tokeep themselves separate from others.Key to connection: Relax the suspicion thatletting people in will have a “cost.” Focus on thegifts of connection and ask “how can I letsomeone into my life today?” This gives Fives something to work on.

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Enneagram sixKey factor: SuspicionSixes like people and they don’t like people, bothat the same time. The Six’s suspiciousness anddoubt of others is the prime culprit in theirconnectedness with others. Human connectivityrequires trust and constancy. Key to connection: Relax the need to jump intoassessing the trustworthiness of others andscanning for possible offenses. Focus on enjoyingthe company and appreciate what they bring tothe moment.This gives Sixes something to work on.

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Enneagram sevenKey factor: Shiny objectsSevens like to engage with others, and while thismay feel like connectivity in the moment, it canquickly evaporate. In particular, this occurs whenSevens reach for the next “shiny object” thatcaptures their attention instead of staying stilland connected.Key to connection: Relax the urge to move on tothe next topic or person. Slow down and becomedeeply curious and practice focused listening. This gives Sevens something to work on.

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Enneagram eightKey factor: FearEights are an anger-type enneatype, so why theword fear? The answer is that when it comes tosustained human connectivity – think of this as aform of intimacy – Eights get scared. Forexample, they feel afraid of being vulnerable,afraid the other person will go away, concernedthat others will find out something about theEight and then become rejecting.Key to connection: Relax your discomfort aroundvulnerability and acknowledge that creatingmeaningful connection means sharing or evengiving power to others. Reframe thatvulnerability as a gift to others, not a danger toyou. This gives Eights something to work on.

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Enneagram nineKey factor: False connectivityNines are typically good at creating rapport withothers, but this is not the same as a deeper levelof human connectivity. To keep rapport going,Nines disconnect from the deeper parts ofthemselves.Key to connection: Relax your need forimmediate rapport. To build true connectivity,reach inside and experience yourself more fully.Notice what you’re feeling and thinking as youconsciously build connection.This gives Nines something to work on.

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ABOUT THE ENNEAGRAM IN BUSINESSEstablished in 2004 by Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, The Enneagram inBusiness offers excellent quality, state-of the-art products and services.Our vision is to help elevate consciousness globally using theEnneagram integrated with other innovative approaches; our mission isto provide an abundance of Enneagram-based resources for use aroundthe world. These include the following:» Nine Enneagram books, including several best sellers» Full-color Enneagram training tools, both in hard copy and virtual formats» Global Enneagram certification programs for consultants, trainers, andcoaches» Premier leadership development and team development offerings» Training, coaching and consulting services, both virtual and in-person» A comprehensive, interactive online Enneagram Learning Portal (ELP)» A global network of over 70 top-quality Enneagram professionals(EIBN)ENNEAGRAM BOOKS by Ginger-Lapid-BogdaBringing Out the Best in Yourself at WorkWhat Type of Leader Are You?Bringing Out the Best in Everyone You CoachThe Enneagram Development GuideConsulting with the EnneagramThe Enneagram Coloring BookThe Art of TypingThe Art of the Enneagram (co-authored with Russell Tres Bogda)Transform Your Team with the | | | 510.570.2971