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PresenceThe Enneagram in Business Mini-Book©2023 The Enneagram in BusinessThe 3 P of coaching excellence:presence, patience, and practiceby Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhDPart OnePP PS

During a past “Coaching with the Enneagram1.0” certificate program, one of the mostcoaching-savvy participants – an excellentcoach and an exemplary coachee – asked mewhat I thought were the most essentialingredients in an excellent coach, and Iresponded with these words: Presence,Patience and Practice.This first mini-eBook is on Presence.

PresenceThis is probably the most challenging and importantaspect of coaching: to be as fully present at possible.Becoming more present is a lifelong journey, but whatit really means is to be in full attunement to oneself inthe present moment, to be in full presence to what isactually occurring with the client, to be aware of whatis occurring in the current environment (in the session,in the client’s life), and to notice the patterns ofinteraction between you and the client. That is a lot ofpresence, and it begins with the self. To be presentmeans to be open and have access to your mind andthinking without distortion, to be tuned into your ownfeelings with an open heart, and to be somaticallyaware, from the top of your head to the tip of yourtoes. And all this happens while you are free and open toattune to your client’s patterns of thought, feeling andbody experience. Do you even notice shifts in yourclient’s facial expressions, facial coloring, handgestures, and more without interpreting, while alsostaying attuned to yourself (this lessens projection andinterpretation)?

My son, a Three, recently told me that when he is fullypresent, he can sometimes feel overwhelmed by theenergy and intensity. I told him that this is a good sign;the more he is present, the more presence he will findand to not be afraid of being so fully alive!Another way of understanding this form of presence isthe concept of divided (rather than split) attention. Individed attention, we are fully paying attention(without striving to do so) to more than one thing atthe same time. With split attention, we may beattending to more than one thing, but we are not fullyattending to any one thing. Sometimes coaches shifttheir attention to one thing then another, thinking theyare in full presence. But when coaches shift attentionlike this, they are missing out on all the areas they arenot paying attention to.Coaching is really the art of full presence, orapproximations thereof. The Enneagram can help uslearn both how, by type, we distract ourselves frombeing in full presence and how to regain a fullerpresence.

One coaches often pressure themselves to be theperfect coach, although there really is no such thing.This pressure makes them tense mentally, emotionallyand physically, tightening down on themselves so theyare not relaxed enough to be in presence. The obviousbut not easy solution? Do whatever you know worksfor you to be in a more relaxed state when you coach.And try telling yourself that coaching is essentially ahuman experience between two people, people arenever perfect, and there is really no such thing asperfect coaching, only human coaching.Type One

Two coaches can be so focused on their client, they getout of attunement with themselves. Being so clientoriented causes Two coaches to think they are present,but they are not present to themselves. The obviousbut not easy solution? Do whatever you know worksfor you to be more in touch with yourself while, at thesame time, being tuned into your client. And trychecking in with yourself every three minutes whileyou are still attuned to your client. Ask yourself thesequestions: What am I feeling? What parts of my bodydo I need to inhabit more? What thoughts am I having?Type Two

Three coaches too often perceive coaching as aperformance, and it is not. Threes don’t need toimpress their clients, nor do they need to mimic whatthey think a good and great coach might do or say. Theobvious but not easy solution? Be yourself! Dowhatever you know works for you to be more genuineand real. Inhabit your heart by breathing into it. Claimyour body by noticing your body sensations. And relaxyour mind so whatever great plan it comes up with,remind yourself that the client’s plan is what matters,not yours, no matter how good you think yours is.Type Three

Four coaches focus on themselves and their clients,but the key is to make what is occurring within youstable and balanced and not just coach clients fromyour heart center to theirs. The obvious but not easysolution? Do whatever you know works for you to bemore balanced emotionally, mentally, and physically.Treat coaching almost as a soft rather than intensemeditation, one that includes you and the clientequally. And remember to coach using mentalapproaches (focusing on the client’s self-limitingmental models), emotions-based approaches (helpingclients identify and express their range of emotions,but also understand them and work through them),and somatic approaches (almost everything that holdsus back from our potential is anchored somewhere inour bodies).Type Four

Five coaches emphasize mental model coaching morethan heart-based coaching or somatic coaching.Obviously, this is not true for all Five coaches; it doesdepend on the level of integration they achieved inaccess and integrating their hearts and bodies withtheir minds. The obvious but not easy solution? Dowhatever you know works for you to gain more accessto your heart and body and to integrate both with yourmind. When you bring all three Centers of Intelligenceto your coaching, you will evoke that in your clients.Use breathing into your heart area to access feelings,then learn to express them in real time. Engage withyour entire body through somatic practices (breathing,yoga, running in full body presence) to learn to accessand utilize all three centers.Type Five

Six coaches have such active minds that they may notattend to what is most important in what the client issaying, doing and feeling. Being in full presence withthemselves and the client stops their inner chatter, butit also helps them distinguish between what is goingon inside them versus what is occurring within theclient. The obvious but not easy solution? Stop thechatter, getting into your body fully and open yourheart. Do whatever you know works for you to stepinto this big challenge. Somatic work oftenaccomplishes this the best as your mind often cannotuntangle what the mind has created and the heartmay collude with the mind. Walk, breathe, and sit stillprior to coaching.Type Six

Seven coaches are the ultimate optimists, and positivethinking really helps clients. But so does experiencingthat which is painful and difficult. Coach to the wholeclient, not just the pleasurable possibilities or optionsthat the mind can consider. The obvious but not easysolution? Work to be focused and whole yourself.Allow yourself to truly spend time experiencing andgetting to know your deeper sadness so you can movethrough it constructively rather than avoid it. Becomemore grounded and know your body by taking aninside look and experiencing your whole body,eventually feeling your feet on the ground, yourself onthe earth. Coach from your own inner wholeness.Type Seven

Eight coaches go for the big and refer, defer, or havelittle patience with the small. Excellent coaching,however, involves both the big and the small and thebig – that is, the big insights, the big breakthrough, andbig action – that rarely come immediately, no matterhow much the effort. The obvious but not easysolution? Go small to go big. Start from the inside to gooutside. In other words, pay attention to the nuancesof being present, both inside you and inside yourclient. Do whatever you know works for you to bemore in touch with all of yourself, including beingreceptive and vulnerable. Focus more on awarenessand exploration rather than outcome because optimaloutcomes flow from awareness in the head, heart andbody, not just an immediate gut-based, action-oriented response.Type Eight

Nine coaches merge with their clients, affirm them andstay with their client’s process. But what about theNine coach’s internal experience? What about beingable to go deeper because you as the coach are goingdeeper, having deeper insights and intuitions andasking the client to go deeper with your questions andfeedback? The obvious but not easy solution? Dowhatever you know works for you to gain more accessto your internal life rather than merging with yourclient and feeling comfortable. Be awake at every level.At first this will seem strange and even tiring. Then itbecomes empowering and exhilarating. When youcome from your deepest self, and this requires you tobe fully present to yourself, your insights are morepowerful, your questions more penetrating, yourinteractions more dynamic, and your impact morepotent.Type Nine

ABOUT THE ENNEAGRAM IN BUSINESSEstablished in 2004 by Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, The Enneagram inBusiness offers excellent quality, state-of the-art products and services.Our vision is to help elevate consciousness globally using theEnneagram integrated with other innovative approaches; our mission isto provide an abundance of Enneagram-based resources for use aroundthe world. These include the following:» Nine Enneagram books, including several best sellers» Full-color Enneagram training tools, both in hard copy and virtual formats» Global Enneagram certification programs for consultants, trainers, andcoaches» Premier leadership development and team development offerings» Training, coaching and consulting services, both virtual and in-person» A comprehensive, interactive online Enneagram Learning Portal (ELP)» A global network of over 70 top-quality Enneagram professionals(EIBN)ENNEAGRAM BOOKS by Ginger-Lapid-BogdaBringing Out the Best in Yourself at WorkWhat Type of Leader Are You?Bringing Out the Best in Everyone You CoachThe Enneagram Development GuideConsulting with the EnneagramThe Enneagram Coloring BookThe Art of TypingThe Art of the Enneagram (co-authored with Russell Tres Bogda)Transform Your Team with the EnneagramTheEnneagramInBusiness.com | EnneagramLearningPortal.com |info@TheEnneagramInBusiness.com | 510.570.2971